Never Be Afraid To Speak

I have never heard my dad say the words "I love you". Not to anyone. Not even me. The same goes for the entire rest of his family, my aunts, my uncle, my grandparents, for some reason none of them ever say those words. I think this is terribly sad, and it goes against all my ideas of how life should be lived. So I decided to break the cycle. When we left my grandmother's hospital room for what we all knew would be the last time, I have her a hug and said, "I love you grandma". She looked up at me and smiled broadly, obviously quite pleased, patted my hand and said, "Thank you for saying that to people". To some that may seem like a horribly disappointing response to telling someone you love them, but it works for me. I hardly expected that after an entire lifetime to not telling people she loves them my grandmother would suddenly, at age 91, say it to me just because I said it to her. Her obvious happiness in that moment was quite enough for me.

The reason I'm writing about this is because of my grandma's words, "Thank you for saying that to people". I find it tragic that in her life being told that she is loved is exceptional enough that she thanked me just for saying it to "people", that the general concept of verbal expression of love, not just to her, but to anybody, has been so foreign to her life. True, it is likely that my dad doesn't tell me he loves me because she never said she loves him, but somebody never told her they loved her as well. It's such an awful cycle, but it's so easily broken. Telling somebody that you care about them and that they are special to you is never something we should hesitate to do, not because of the cheesy adage "You never know what will happen" (though that is true, my best friend may get in a car wreck tomorrow and I'd be happy to know I told her how much she meant to me), but simply because it's important that they know. It says something about how much you care about someone that you want to make sure they know it, that you refuse to leave it up to chance that they understand the implication of your actions or assume it because of the nature of your relationship. How much can you care about someone if you don't care that they know how you feel? Never hesitate to tell somebody that you love them. Love is a good thing. Very rarely does anyone dislike being told that they are loved, and you're more likely to regret not saying it than saying it. Don't hold back.

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth." - Benjamin Disraeli