Thursday, September 30, 2010
Struggling
I feel like I'm not doing anything. I am definitely doing plenty of things; classes, work, and homework keep me pretty busy, but I am not doing anything for others, and I hate that. I feel like I am living a selfish and unproductive life. I know I'm supposed to be in school right now and that God wants me here at Warren Wilson, but I am growing restless with my life and frustrated that I am not serving others enough. I am extremely blessed to be here, and in my short time here I've already learned way more about the inequalities in this world than I would have at any other school, but the more I learn the more I want to go now and do something, and the more I am impressed with how little I can actually do, that no matter what I do millions of people are still going to die from starvation, lack of clean water, and inexcusably preventable diseases, and I am really struggling with all of this. I feel like I am a part of the problem.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Martin Luther King, Jr.
"There is a power in love that our world has not discovered yet. Jesus discovered it centuries ago. Mahatma Gandhi of India discovered it a few years ago, but most men and most women never discover it. For they believe in hitting for hitting; they believe in an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth; they believe in hating for hating; but Jesus comes to us and says, "This isn’t the way.""
"There is a little tree planted on a little hill and on that tree hangs the most influential character that ever came in this world. But never feel that that tree is a meaningless drama that took place on the stages of history. Oh no, it is a telescope through which we look out into the long vista of eternity, and see the love of God breaking forth into time. It is an eternal reminder to a power-drunk generation that love is the only way. It is an eternal reminder to a generation depending on nuclear and atomic energy, a generation depending on physical violence, that love is the only creative, redemptive, transforming power in the universe."
"I say to you, "I love you. I would rather die than hate you." And I’m foolish enough to believe that through the power of this love somewhere, men of the most recalcitrant bent will be transformed. And then we will be in God’s kingdom."
Read this. It's long, but oh so worth it:
http://www.mlkonline.net/enemies.html
"There is a little tree planted on a little hill and on that tree hangs the most influential character that ever came in this world. But never feel that that tree is a meaningless drama that took place on the stages of history. Oh no, it is a telescope through which we look out into the long vista of eternity, and see the love of God breaking forth into time. It is an eternal reminder to a power-drunk generation that love is the only way. It is an eternal reminder to a generation depending on nuclear and atomic energy, a generation depending on physical violence, that love is the only creative, redemptive, transforming power in the universe."
"I say to you, "I love you. I would rather die than hate you." And I’m foolish enough to believe that through the power of this love somewhere, men of the most recalcitrant bent will be transformed. And then we will be in God’s kingdom."
Read this. It's long, but oh so worth it:
http://www.mlkonline.net/enemies.html
Friday, September 17, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Growing up
I feel like I'm stuck in this awkward place being teenager and adult, like I want to be done with this learning phase and go experience and live out in the real world, but I'm not quite ready yet. It's like I'm stretching out between two points in life, reaching and growing towards one but still tied to the other.
Monday, September 13, 2010
School, etc.
It's been a while since I updated this. Sorry about that. The past few weeks have flown by with a rather scary speed. I can't believe we're already 4 weeks into the school year! I hope the next 3 years don't speed by at this rate.
Anyway, school is going quite well. My classes are good. They're interesting and challenging enough that I have to work but I don't feel like by brain is going to explode. All the professors here go by their first names, which is odd. It took me a week or so to get used to that. I do like how informal and laid back everyone and everything here is though. It's quite nice.
One of the most unique things about Warren Wilson is that everyone gets assigned to a work crew and works 15 hours a week on campus as a form of financial aid. It's cool because every student is really engaged in the school as a whole and not just living here and taking classes. We help this place run. I got assigned to (drumroll please)....RESIDENCE HALL MAINTENANCE! Which means I clean dorms. Bathrooms and common rooms and such. It's not as bad as it sounds though. I kind of enjoy it. Plus our boss, Tom, is really cool, and I really enjoy his perspective on what we do. He says that at most schools the students are privileged members of the upper middle class being cleaned up after by members of the lower class who will likely never have the same opportunity for education as the kids they're cleaning up after, which is very true and makes me glad that the system at our school is more equitable.
On another note, I finally got a roommate! Her name is Kat, and she's a sophomore too. She was living in another building here, but they had a serious mold problem and she couldn't breathe so now she's with me. She's fun and I like her, and I look forward to getting to know her better.
For the last few weeks I've been feeling a little lonely and disconnected, just because I don't really have any close friends here and have really been craving community. Then yesterday I went to a barbecue for all the college kids and my church and met some really great people here, then had a movie night with some friends here, so now I'm starting to feel more connected and rooted here. I'm looking forward to watching my community here develop.
Lately I've been feeling my calling to leave and serve the poor and forgotten in this world much more strongly. I've been aware of my calling to missions for about two years now, but in the last few weeks it's grown into this constant, passionate burning in my heart. I like it. It gives me a very strong sense of purpose and does not allow me to forget why I'm here. It also makes me a little sad though, because I am growing more aware of the fact that one day I will leave behind all the communities I've ever been a part of, and I won't be able to keep in touch with everyone then. I am sad that I know that day will come, but I am not afraid of it, and I am looking forward to being able to live out this passion in my heart.
God revealed and important truth to me today. We were talking in my Lifestyles of Nonviolence Class about the fear and hatred of Muslims that has grown in our country in the last decade, and suddenly it hit me how hypocritical I am and how bad I am at loving those who are intolerant. Those of you who know me (which is probably everyone reading this blog, because I'm not really a big deal at all) know that I am really liberal, and nothing makes me more mad than "Christians" preaching intolerance and hatred in the name of God. But today God told me that I need to check my attitude towards these people, because while they may be misrepresenting Christ in a very tragic way, they are still God's precious creations, my brothers and sisters, and just because I disagree with them STRONGLY doesn't mean I am released from the call to love them as Jesus loves me. I don't get to play favorites, and it is extremely hypocritical of me to feel intolerant and unloving towards those people for being intolerant and unloving towards others.
That is all. Thanks for reading!
Anyway, school is going quite well. My classes are good. They're interesting and challenging enough that I have to work but I don't feel like by brain is going to explode. All the professors here go by their first names, which is odd. It took me a week or so to get used to that. I do like how informal and laid back everyone and everything here is though. It's quite nice.
One of the most unique things about Warren Wilson is that everyone gets assigned to a work crew and works 15 hours a week on campus as a form of financial aid. It's cool because every student is really engaged in the school as a whole and not just living here and taking classes. We help this place run. I got assigned to (drumroll please)....RESIDENCE HALL MAINTENANCE! Which means I clean dorms. Bathrooms and common rooms and such. It's not as bad as it sounds though. I kind of enjoy it. Plus our boss, Tom, is really cool, and I really enjoy his perspective on what we do. He says that at most schools the students are privileged members of the upper middle class being cleaned up after by members of the lower class who will likely never have the same opportunity for education as the kids they're cleaning up after, which is very true and makes me glad that the system at our school is more equitable.
On another note, I finally got a roommate! Her name is Kat, and she's a sophomore too. She was living in another building here, but they had a serious mold problem and she couldn't breathe so now she's with me. She's fun and I like her, and I look forward to getting to know her better.
For the last few weeks I've been feeling a little lonely and disconnected, just because I don't really have any close friends here and have really been craving community. Then yesterday I went to a barbecue for all the college kids and my church and met some really great people here, then had a movie night with some friends here, so now I'm starting to feel more connected and rooted here. I'm looking forward to watching my community here develop.
Lately I've been feeling my calling to leave and serve the poor and forgotten in this world much more strongly. I've been aware of my calling to missions for about two years now, but in the last few weeks it's grown into this constant, passionate burning in my heart. I like it. It gives me a very strong sense of purpose and does not allow me to forget why I'm here. It also makes me a little sad though, because I am growing more aware of the fact that one day I will leave behind all the communities I've ever been a part of, and I won't be able to keep in touch with everyone then. I am sad that I know that day will come, but I am not afraid of it, and I am looking forward to being able to live out this passion in my heart.
God revealed and important truth to me today. We were talking in my Lifestyles of Nonviolence Class about the fear and hatred of Muslims that has grown in our country in the last decade, and suddenly it hit me how hypocritical I am and how bad I am at loving those who are intolerant. Those of you who know me (which is probably everyone reading this blog, because I'm not really a big deal at all) know that I am really liberal, and nothing makes me more mad than "Christians" preaching intolerance and hatred in the name of God. But today God told me that I need to check my attitude towards these people, because while they may be misrepresenting Christ in a very tragic way, they are still God's precious creations, my brothers and sisters, and just because I disagree with them STRONGLY doesn't mean I am released from the call to love them as Jesus loves me. I don't get to play favorites, and it is extremely hypocritical of me to feel intolerant and unloving towards those people for being intolerant and unloving towards others.
That is all. Thanks for reading!
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