My Dear Teameffort

This week I made a very tough decision. Next summer I will not be going back to Teameffort. Those of you who read my blog during the summer (which was probably most of you, seeing as I'm not that popular) got a small glimpse of how much I love it. It makes me so happy. I love the chaos, getting my hands dirty serving the Lord, watching campers grow throughout the week, and all other little things like how much Sweet T loved her flowers. It makes me sad to think that I won't be doing all that again next summer, that my car will not be getting more paint splashed on it and that I will not be spending most of my days grimy and soaked in my own sweat. But I think it may be time for a new season in my life. Way back in September we got an email asking if we wanted to sign up for next summer, and even though I immediately thought "YES!" I've been procrastinating sending that email for months. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I just felt like something was holding me back. Earlier this week it occurred to me that if I didn't sign up soon it could end up being too late, so I sat down to send the email and realized that deep down I didn't want to do it. That didn't make any sense to me. I enjoy every second of it, so why wouldn't I want to go back? I prayed about it for a very long time, and I know God has other plans for me next summer. He often speaks to me through my feelings, and I know the very settled feeling I have against it means something. I'm probably going to spend the summer at home, get a job and actually have free time to rest with my family and friends. When I think about that it feels like something deep in my soul begins to relax. For the last two years the longest period of rest I've had has been winter break last year, and even that was still and in between time before the next semester started. I'm often wrong, but at the moment I think that God's plan for me next summer is to for me to learn to just be, not to be doing all the time. Action is necessary, but so is not acting sometimes, and that is definitely a lesson I need to learn. I will miss Teameffort dearly, but for now it's time for me to move on.