This is a blog about my life. It is nothing special, because I am nothing special. I am only a disciple of Christ, who tries to serve Him the best I can day by day, and so if you see anything here that you find impressive, exciting, or different, I ask you to give the glory to my Father, Jesus.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Spiritual Poverty

I was thinking about this when I went to church on Sunday. In high school I always went to Simpsonwood, here in Norcross, but when I was living in Gainesville last year I discovered 12 Stone church, and I like it so much better. Ever since my first summer with Teameffort I've discovered that Simpsonwood frustrates me. People there don't dance or sing, they're not excited to be worshipping or to be learning about God. It seems like most of them won't sing because they're afraid the person next to them on the pew will think they're being silly. To me it seems like most of them are just going to check the church box and do what they're supposed to do because they're supposed to do it. Perhaps I'm being unfair; I don't know all of the people there. A lot of them are great. Everybody worships in their own way, and some people just don't like to sing. Even so, I can't help that whenever I go to the service there I wind up feeling frustrated at what seems to me to be a lack of genuine emotion, and I can't focus well or truly worship because I'm too frustrated with the people around me. I know that has something to do with my own spiritual poverty that I can't worship because I'm distracted by what is or isn't going on around me. On the other hand I step into 12 Stone and I find myself feeling excited and ready to encounter Jesus, because I've always found the teachings there edifying, the excitement of the people around me is always genuine and contagious. To what degree is it that some people prefer different churches and find one more edifying and helpful than another, and to what degree is it my own spiritual poverty preventing me from being able to focus on God in a certain environment? I have no answers for this, only questions, and a deeper awareness of my humanity.
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1 comment:

  1. AndieJanuary 12, 2011 at 10:52 PM

    that was a huge struggle of mine this past summer working at the church and something that i will have to really face and deal with again if i work there this summer. Simpsonwood's faith for the majority of its members is tentative and in its infancy and there isn't an understanding of the freedom of Christ or the joy that inspires spontaneous and active worship. The weight of pride stifles a lot of the joy that does grow and lies of satan about freedom and being enough to enjoy the presence of God are overwhelmingly accepted. but this is not true of everyone, the youth are getting it. they are realizing that there is something worth jumping and singing about, and there are members that are growing. if we are brave and willing to worship without being held back by fear then others will follow.

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