Home

It's 1:30 am, I just got off the phone after a 2 hour conversation with my friend, and I have to be up at 9 for a 10 am orthodontist appointment, so what am I doing? I'm writing a blog!

I moved back in with my mom on Saturday, and even though my room is very full with many slowly depleting stacks of boxes, it's good to be home. I was surprised by how good it felt to be back to living someplace so familiar, living in a house with my mom and Greg instead of unfamiliar roommates that I barely know. It's so good to be done with that ridiculous overly-polite dance and back with people I actually talk to, who ask where I'm going and care when I'll be home, or even if I'll be home. As much as I loved my apartment, there's nothing like the well-worn and written on walls of the bedroom of my childhood, who have long held the secrets of my tears, anger, 2 am conversations and those many nights as a child when I stayed up well after bedtime with a book and a flashlight. There's something reassuring about being able to look at the walls and read a little reflection of your self off of them, and of knowing that after you're gone that place will remember you and the fact that I was here will only be forgotten after at least two coats of paint. My mom was so mad when I started writing on the walls, but it's a rage that I gladly weathered and would not take back.

My mom and I aren't really close, and I was so excited to get out and get away from my family that I would never have imagined I would so enjoy being back. As much as adventure and new things help us grow, there's something to be said for familiarity, for walking out the door and flipping on the same porch light that I've been flipping on for years, for being able to predict how long a mess will last in the kitchen, and even for the sound of my mom going out in the garage late at night to smoke. It sounds so odd, but I was always able to guess approximately what time it was by my mom's nicotine cravings. It's things like that that make home home, and a year away has given me a new appreciation for that blessed familiarity.

On a less sentimental note, I am so busy!! I leave in two weeks, and while I'm sad that I have to little time left with my friends and that I'm going to miss so much this summer, I'm so excited. I'm really for another excellent Teameffort summer, and all the joys and challenges and sweat that comes with it, but I have to get there first. I have to unpack, sort through all of my stuff and get rid of some of it because I have so much stuff that I don't need, pack for school and for the summer, some shopping I have to do before then, as well as send in all of my school forms and a few other things. Then I found out yesterday that I have to get my wisdom teeth taken out, and since I'm leaving for school immediately after I get back from Puerto Rico if I don't get it done now I'll have to wait until December, and waiting that long would be a really bad idea. Aaahh!! Really I'm not worried about my work getting done, because I know I can get it all done, I'm worried about being so busy with all this work that I don't get to spend much time with my friends before I leave. My friends are amazing and I love them so much I'm trying to soak up as much of them as possible in the next few weeks, and it would break my heart to get less than the little time I already have. My plan is to crack down this week and get all or most of my work done so that I can spend most of next week with my loves. I hope that works.